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Here 50 years the level of divorces in civilized countries, including Russia, slowly, but steadily raises. y today in the USA it has reached 43 %, in England - 42 %, in Russia - 4 %. Impresses number of divorces in greater cities even more: from friendshippen 5 % in New York up to 49 % in Moscow. Disintegration of a ma ied couple - the hardest trauma, the major reason of neurotic frustration and illnesses, and psychologists for a long time friendshippen try to define their reasons. y the way, 5 years ago R.Rejgan, reducing taxes for the American association of psychotherapists, has taken a word from a management of Association, that they will reduce number of divorces in the USA. They have not constrained the word (and friendshippen will not constrain!), ut have lead weight of complex and labour-consuming researches and have come to conclusion, that a principal cause of divorces - a wrong, e oneous choice of the matrimonial partner. It is natural, that psychologists and psychotherapists of the different countries are asked by a friendshippen question: on what basis we to ourselves choose husbands and wives Why half chooses them from us inco ectly, is mistaken at a choice Today the majority of people as show researches, ma y on love. Only less friendshippen than % of inhabitants of greater cities admit, that a determinative at a choice of the matrimonial partner were material reasons, the others approve all, that love th lect or izbrannicu. Love as we already spoke - the mysterious, unusual and complex phenomenon, a special friendshippen condition of consciousness with infringements, first of all, in sphere of thinking. Major of these infringements is idealization - attributing to th lect of any supernatural advantages, human and intellectual qualities. Favourite - or favourite - it seems to us unusually kind, sensitive friendshippen and careful, clever and acute. Today the most authoritativ xperts believe, that we fall in love at all when we meet the person suitable for us and when - more often at a subconscious level - we require bright feelings when we wish to distract friendshippen from depressing daily occu ence, and in some cases - when w xperience internal crisis. My colleague and the friend, known American psychotherapist Frenk Pitman even approves, that the majority of people by means of love are rescueed from depression. And here in this unusual, in something a painful friendshippen condition we do to it the offer and we become the husband and the wife, and in half a year, a maximum year (the romantic love does not last long!) we find out, that we have simply thought up friendshippen the most part of its unusual advantages, that anything especial and so attractive to us in this woman is not present. In us thereis a process deidealizacii, or as my teacher spoke, professor Kovalev, dep'edestalizacii - and the matrimonial union breaks up. The choice of the wife is a business friendshippen ser' znoe, and to make it in a painful condition of a love neurosis dangerously - better to wait recover. Researches show, that, the longer spouses knew each other till a ma iage, the it is more than chances, that their union friendshippen will be strong. S.Forvard carefully investigated two thousand of young ma ied couples, has proved, the most unsuccessful choice was made by those who have got ma ied with peak of love - through three - four months after occu ence of this feeling and friendshippen the beginning of a joint sexual life: 40 % from them have divorced in a year, 30 more % - through two, and by th nd of the third year in ma iage 20 % (!) of pairs consisted only. From those who have got ma ied in two friendshippen and more years after occu ence of love feeling, more than 80 % remained the husband and the wife in five years after wedding. Love - remarkable feeling, but a ma iage on love, in opinion of the majority of psychologists - a true way to divorce. friendshippen